"it's just to hard and awkward"

Some things have occured... and I believe that they need to be said... out loud... or in writing as would appear here.

My mother believes that coming to my wedding, (Yes I am getting married... January 15th) would be too hard and awkward becasue she would have to spend time with the "BONNELLS" (my dad's side of the family) I have one problem with this. Is it my wedding or hers? I am the one getting married and I am her daughter. Therefore... she should be there. An Angelican ceremony is like 30 minutes... tops.... and unless she stayed and chatted with everyone after.... she would only need to be there that long. I don't even axpect her to siot with them... sit with Rob's family, turn your nose up at everything, have a miserable time, but SHUT THE FUCK UP and COME! I don't understand how one person can be such a bitch. I really don't. Then she gets mad at me for not asking for her help with finding a dress or sending invatations. Why would she want to help send out invatations to people she doesn't even want to be there? GRRRR

And to make matters worse... Rob and I wanted my sister Marnie to be our flower girl. (She would look so darn cute!) But in order for that to happen, my mother would have to say yes.... and according to her, my sister "sure as hell wouldn't want to" spend the day with my family. Um... once again... it is MY WEDDING!

"And I am sure Gary is going to walk you down the isle" Well Yeah, he is my dad....... But noooooooo, my step dad should do it. Cause that makes a lot of fucking snese. I haven't seen the guy in 3 years, and he only loves me when it suits him and wouldn't want anything to do with me if Rob was black, but he should walk me down the isle. FUCK THAT. I want my dad to do it. He doesn't put conditions on his love. he may not be perfect, and he may think he is "God" but he is still my dad and would be there for me no matter what.

I love that fact that mother tells me I sold them out. Why? Because I, yes I, didn't save all of my mothers stuff. I like how she cannot accept the blame for her own actions, and yet blames me for not saving all her stuff from people she stayed with when my so called "amazing" step father walked out on her. So because I didn't spend money I didn't have on her stuff, I am the bad one. Oh Praise Me... The EVIL one.

But now that I am done "gossiping" as my darling husband to be would say, I am going to go and eat. Cause I am HUNGRY!

It really means a lot to me that the friends I have out west are doing everything in their power to be here for me on my big day. I can imagine them not being here for this, or I there for them. I cannot thank them enough for the support they have given. I love you guys so much! See you soon!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 2:46 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile

wow.

my life in a nutshell.


life. learn. college? dream. work. fantasy. wedding. passion. baby. scared. excitement. joy. love. live.

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 8:03 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile

Turkey Time

"2 lines means yes"

Thanksgiving was good. The smells and food were sooooooooooooo good! I got lucky and got to do it TWICE! I love this time of year.... family really comes together.... and then again so quickly for Christmas..... when I shall be 20!

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Lots of Love........
Me

P.S. throwing up on trains is no fun!

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 9:26 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile

My future

~in a childish dream, i tried on that dress and fell in love.... not only with it, but even more so with you~

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 7:05 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile

Missing my Baby

Well so much has happened in the last little while. Let me give you a recap. You better sit down, this may take awhile.

Well living on my own has come to a bitter sweet end. Turns out my roomate is a lying skanky whore, she never paid our rent. (as I told her, Rob was right: she is a dirty fucking cunt!) The money I gave her went somewhere else.I left her there, got my dad to go there and pack up my stuff. That friendsip is over. I was the one peson who would have stood by her through anything, and I was the one person she fucked over. I can honestly say I miss her, but not enough to let her walk over me again.

So... I am back living with my dad.... and that... well isn't going to bad to be honest. I am sharing a room with Kaylee, and we are actually getting on. I set our room up all nice and I like spending time with my dad and Cody and Ruth. I have grown really close with her. I can talk to her about anything. It is going well so far. It is allowing me to catch up on my bills, and be closer with my family, which I need, because I am mising Rob like CRAZY!

I started off seeing Rob once or twice a week, now with work being so crazy and hetic I haven't seen him in 10 days and won't see him for another 7 more. It really sucks. I love him so much, and it fucking hurts. I feel like the distance is putting a strain on us. Not on his part, but on mine. I hate this distance. I call him just to hear his voice, and then I have nothing to say to him. I feel left out because he is having a great time, and I am still here, being lame. But he loves me and that is all that matters.

Work is nuts to say the least. I work non-stop. I am soooo NOT complaining because my paycheck is gonna rock and I am gonna get a good chunk of my bills paid off. I am loving it though. I have no social life, and I am always tired, but work rocks!

I am the proud owner of a RRSP! Yes that is right I am planning for my future! I think of it as a downpayment on a house at somepoint in the future..... Plus I have an account that I can't get the money out of with my debit card, so I am saving money for when Rob and I finally do get married. We'd get married tomorrow if we could, but he still has school, and I still have work. I think OUR BIG DAY will be as planned... in Ocotber of 2006. I was hoping for next year, but I don't need a ring on my finger nor a piece of paper to know that I love him and him me, for the rest of our lives. I this lady come into work the other day and tell me about her family, which often happens when discussing shopping... and she met her husband (of 22 years!) when they were 16 and they got married at 19! it was kind of inspiring. I hear all the time that we are TOO YOUNG and that is will never work. It was nice to have someone who has ben there in my corner!

Um...... what else is new...... Thanksgiving is coming soon..... I can't wait! My birthday is in 2 months and 24 days! (yes folks Christmas is in 2 months and 24 days!) So for my newest address send me an e-mail (tinydreamteam@hotmail.com) with your phone number in it... so I can call you and tell you!

I was wondering the other day if anyone still even bothers to read this thing.....

I still haven't talked to mom since the last time.... I don't even miss her. I was missing a dream of what could have been, not what is. I know now that I will have Marnie sooner rather then later.... her and mom didn't appear to get on either. Typical

If you are reading this: Congrats on the wedding, I bet you made a beautiful bride. Sounds like your hunnymoon was "fun"

Well that is all..... I am tired and need to put my cousins to bed.... yes I am soo lame I am babysitting on a Friday night! So goodbye all, hope to hear from you soon!

xoxoxoxoxox

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 10:40 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile