"it's just to hard and awkward"

Some things have occured... and I believe that they need to be said... out loud... or in writing as would appear here.

My mother believes that coming to my wedding, (Yes I am getting married... January 15th) would be too hard and awkward becasue she would have to spend time with the "BONNELLS" (my dad's side of the family) I have one problem with this. Is it my wedding or hers? I am the one getting married and I am her daughter. Therefore... she should be there. An Angelican ceremony is like 30 minutes... tops.... and unless she stayed and chatted with everyone after.... she would only need to be there that long. I don't even axpect her to siot with them... sit with Rob's family, turn your nose up at everything, have a miserable time, but SHUT THE FUCK UP and COME! I don't understand how one person can be such a bitch. I really don't. Then she gets mad at me for not asking for her help with finding a dress or sending invatations. Why would she want to help send out invatations to people she doesn't even want to be there? GRRRR

And to make matters worse... Rob and I wanted my sister Marnie to be our flower girl. (She would look so darn cute!) But in order for that to happen, my mother would have to say yes.... and according to her, my sister "sure as hell wouldn't want to" spend the day with my family. Um... once again... it is MY WEDDING!

"And I am sure Gary is going to walk you down the isle" Well Yeah, he is my dad....... But noooooooo, my step dad should do it. Cause that makes a lot of fucking snese. I haven't seen the guy in 3 years, and he only loves me when it suits him and wouldn't want anything to do with me if Rob was black, but he should walk me down the isle. FUCK THAT. I want my dad to do it. He doesn't put conditions on his love. he may not be perfect, and he may think he is "God" but he is still my dad and would be there for me no matter what.

I love that fact that mother tells me I sold them out. Why? Because I, yes I, didn't save all of my mothers stuff. I like how she cannot accept the blame for her own actions, and yet blames me for not saving all her stuff from people she stayed with when my so called "amazing" step father walked out on her. So because I didn't spend money I didn't have on her stuff, I am the bad one. Oh Praise Me... The EVIL one.

But now that I am done "gossiping" as my darling husband to be would say, I am going to go and eat. Cause I am HUNGRY!

It really means a lot to me that the friends I have out west are doing everything in their power to be here for me on my big day. I can imagine them not being here for this, or I there for them. I cannot thank them enough for the support they have given. I love you guys so much! See you soon!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 2:46 PM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile