Is this it?

What is life?

Life is like a big obstacle

put in front of your optical to slow you down

And everytime you think you gotten past it

it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

What are friends?

Friends are people that you think are your friends

But they really your enemies, with secret indentities

and disguises, to hide they true colors

So just when you think you close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin

What is money?

Money is what makes a man act funny

Money is the root of all evil

Money'll make them same friends come back around

swearing that they was always down

What is life?

I'm tired of life

I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

I'm tired of committing so many sins......

Growing up.... yes we all must do it, become responsible... but what for? To stress over money and bills. To constantly worry if there is going to be enough money for this and for that? I was too quick to embrace my life as an adult. To be honest it sucks and I am not even offically there yet. The freedom is nice, but at what cost? No social life because you have to work all day to pay the bills. Eat, Sleep and Work? The cruel, yet tolerable cycle. Great that is exactly the life I wanted. And rent? Rent sucks. Fighting with your roomate over rent sucks too, even more. Especially for me, cause I am not exactly on the "knowing" page of adulthood.
It is way to early in the morning and once again my brain is thinking a million thoughts a minute, allowing me to lie in bed next to Rob listening to his inconsistent rythyms of snoring. So I decide to blog, maybe this will help my brain slow down a bit.

Ok.... So being an adult.... it doesn't appear to be that great. They always appear to be bitchy and stressed about something. I am enough of a bitch on my own, I don't need to get worse.

Being compared to someone else... please do not compare me to other people, because I am not. I am jsut me. So whatever those other people did, I may not do the same thing. And looking like someone doesn't make me like them. I am just me... love me or hate me.. you choose.

Money. I am so sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I know I have to call my roomate and tell her, "Hey guess what I have even less of the rent money then I said I had..." yeah she is gonna hate me. I beleive September will be better, I will have a chnace to what is called BUDGETING..... but until then.... it is not gonna be pretty.

I am supposed to see my mom, and I am so excited, but scared. Can I honestly handle seeing her, and then chance her taking it all away again? Can I do that? I would love to say I can. That I am strong enought to survive the fire that is my mother. I know that I could if Rob was there with me. But he will be in London, no longer my security blanket, not there to hold my hand, and keep my heart safe from her. So now it comes down to is it worth it... do I risk it? ...... Hells Yeah! Why? Because seeing Marnie and Zack once, is better than not seeing them at all.

Work... work.... work. I am beginning to hate my job just as much as I love it. I am feeling bored and under challenged, so I don't try, don't make my goals and I get in trouble, forcing me to try on the surface, but yet underneath it all I just hate it more. I love who I work with, they have been awesome, and super supportive in everything... just the work itself sucks. people should not come into my store if they have no desire to buy anything. Please do not waste my time, and yours, trying things on, only to leave me, giving me nothing to do then to put away everything you just tried on. I'll pass thanks.

So it is Saturday.... Rob leaves Tuesday morning. **crying now** I am unsure why.

I want to scream:

"BABY don't go, Don't leave me, stay here and protect me from this world."

But it would be useless. This experience for him, filled with learning and new adventures and new friends is a journey he must take. He must go, grow up himself, and better his future, and I am so proud of him. I know that I can't hide behind him, I must face the world and make choices for myself. I am just gonna miss him so damn much. The idea of being without him for even a day brings tears to my eyes. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.... I believe it true. But in order for me to love him more I am gonna need a new heart, or a new body part of some kind. Because I already love him with every part of me. So Monday night I will say goodbye and I will smile because I know he loves my smile, as goofy as it is. I will wait till I return to my new place, all lonely and cold, and then I will shed my tears. (Baby, Study hard, have fun, but come home soon... I am counting the days till I see you again) **still crying**

Well my baby is downstairs sleeping and I am gonna go and watch him sleep. Every minute with him is important. Man I am Lame.... could I be anymore lovestruck? haha Nope, doubt it.

I shall write more soon, I love you all. xoxoxoxox

-Nat-a-lee giggled about a boy at 10:58 AM Girly Giggles [ .]

Life brings unexpected surpirses that will make you smile